Despair Suicide Despair


August 9, 2009
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And here it is: Strip number 50! I'm glad that I managed to get this tiny milestone but I almost got desperate at this strip (believe it or not, but I just made a typo and wrote 'trip' instead of 'strip'). To make it short: it doesn't look in the slightest as my first vision I had of it. Maybe this style is far better than what I imagined first (which I'm pretty sure of since this looks more drugged, my first vision was just a simple pencil style), but nevertheless it kinda annoys me that I didn't manage to create what I wanted. And that's something I was really glad about at the last strips because they always ended up as what I planned them to be. Well, let's hope that at the next one it will work again. Oh, and by the way: I hate walls, I really hate walls. I can't color them. I hate it how they look. That's why I put it in a complete shadow on the last panel.

Why people take drugs or booze (especially if it's just for fun) is something that for some reasons I can't understand. I don't know why, but just think of it: Every living form always tries to get as much control as possible, and so do humans. You always try to get some degree of power, be it money, a good job, your own house, your territory, or just think of all the wars. So why do they take drugs and lose control over their own body? If you can't even dominate your own body, aren't you like the most pathetic lifeform that can be imagined? And how someone can do it in sports is even more ridiculous. Weren't sports once about fame and honor? OK, maybe that idea is too antique meanwhile...

And just a little comment at the end: I wanted again to put some nice details in the background. I love it if a comic has these little things in the background that you can search and be glad if you find them. For example in the first panel the pole vaulter uses a rocket belt (keyword cheating), there are some things written on the billboards (yes, I don't like the (pseudo)-pharmaceutical industry that much; as always it's just about money) and on the final panel the boxing gloves make a facepalm. OK, that one is probably a bit hard to see after my desperate and exaggerated use of filters to give the impression of a decent looking strip.

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